Parenting is a Humbling Sport…

Many of you know that Gia receives services through Lanterman Regional Center because of an oralmotor delay she was diagnosed with at 8 months. The oralmotor issue seems to have resolved itself (no problem getting that girl to eat anymore!), but she’s now being watched for speech problems, as 80% of children with oralmotor delay experience speech delays as well. She’s in speech 2 times a week – working on combining two-word phrases, but mostly playing games and having a ball.

When Holding Hands (Gia’s speech therapists) saw JJ’s interactions with them and her sister, they suggested that Lanterman evaluate her too. “We’d expect more two-word combinations from a child her age” they said. Plus, they said, we could schedule her at the same time as Gia and you could split your time monitoring their lessons. Okay…can’t hurt. I doubted JJ would get refered.

Well, what do you know…three evaluations later, Lanterman has decided that JJ not only needs speech therapy, but also “more structure” in her day so that she can increase her attention span when attending to teacher-initiated tasks, not just self-initiated tasks. Marta, the last evaluator JJ saw, was kind to me, saying “you’ve done a great job keeping her from drowning, scalding and starving. Don’t beat yourself up about not providing structure.” And yet…how can I not? I take off 2 1/2 years from my job, bypassing both salary and promotions, to care for my kids the way I think is best. Now here are the child assessment experts saying that “your girls would benefit from MORE time in a structured preschool environment (they’re already in school 2 days a week).” Wow…isn’t that another way of saying “you’re not giving them what they need?” Turn their care over to someone MORE often? I told Marta about arranging for family and friends to stay with us for several months during the year to try to meet their needs more quickly than I could on my own. “Ah” says Marta. “You’ve made it so easy for your girls to get their needs met that they haven’t needed to use their words to get what they want.” Sheesh…and here I thought I was doing the right thing by them.

Have you ever questioned whether your parenting is good enough? Feel free to comment!